Slowly we unfurl, as lotus flowers

[gr8 day 2B alive]

CS

The other side is the more tactical side. Stuff from the book that I also try to stay aware of. Monitoring what is working. Doing what works. Setting goals and monitoring progress against those goals.

This is the side that keeps my mind too busy at times.

First, practice being aware of when you start to analyze things.
Awareness is key, you have to retrain your thought process b/c you have been doing X for so long.
It takes practice, but in time you will reconize when you start to over think things. When you do focus on somethings else.
It will became habit after awhile and you won't over-analyze your situation anymore.

Let’s say I go fully dark, for a week, 2 weeks, a month, whatever. What would I then be looking for to see if it is working? Would friendly contact from W be seen as progress, a positive?

I'm not going to get into the chicken or the egg battle with you.
This is part of your problem, you are justifying your actions based on the outcome you want. Her friendly contact can just be a facade towards you. You are expecting a certain response to indicate something positive.

See, you haven't gone dark so who's to say what will happen.

What if you going dark wakes her up and she comes begging to you to forgive her and take her back?


Faith is needed to get through the process.

Do you see my struggle here? What am I looking for?

Youre looking too hard for something positive.

Remember the Karate kid?
Mr Miyagi taught Danielson all the right moves to learn Karate. Wax O wax off, paint fence up....
Danielson had his own perception of what it meant to learn Karate.
Isn't one of MWD points Is to have an opened mind?

I think you fear going dark b/c you think that will push her away. You think, she will think that you have given up and you will lose her forever.

I say this b/c I lived it. As I mentioned before about my sitch:
My W said I tried for six months to get her back then just stopped.
It was when I stopped trying to save the M that she noticed me.

Take the focus off of saving you M and start being the man YOU want to be! Be attractive and mysterious.
You can do it.
Have fun golfing.