Don’t think I am not listening as I write this, I am. But as pointed out, one thing I know I do too much of is over analyze.
When we look at all of this, there does seem to be two sides. I also always try to go back to the book, just to get my focus back.
The two sides I see.
One is working on ourselves. 180’s and GAL. Mental and emotional balance. Improvements that we make for us.
I have been working hard on this side of the equation. Long way to go? Yes. But you know, most days I feel pretty good. I am happy with what I have done so far, and where I see myself going.
The other side is the more tactical side. Stuff from the book that I also try to stay aware of. Monitoring what is working. Doing what works. Setting goals and monitoring progress against those goals.
This is the side that keeps my mind too busy at times.
Here is a question. Let’s say I go fully dark, for a week, 2 weeks, a month, whatever. What would I then be looking for to see if it is working? Would friendly contact from W be seen as progress, a positive? If so, aren’t I already there?
Are the friendly interactions from W not positives? If so, then I guess I should be doing something different.
Do you see my struggle here? What am I looking for?
There are the different main pieces of advice that are out there, that I think about. Some seem to fight against each other.
Keep the road home paved smooth.
Let her miss you.
It is not my responsibility to make her feel the consequences of her actions; life will do it for her.
Be friendly.
Go dark.
Act as if.
With all of this rambling, I will say this. I am moving in the direction of backing away.
I will get back to being more mysterious.
In the meantime, taking the afternoon off and playing golf
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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
