My H is conflict avoidant as well. Never did get alot of spew. For all I know he is a WAS. It doesn't matter too much to me anymore. It took me quite awhile to feel this way though.
He does visit D's one day a week (usually), but you could count on one hand how may times they have stayed with him in the 3+ years he's been gone.
All I can tell you is that it really does get easier.
