Sanderika thank you for your post and your clear understanding of the questions that this has raised in me,
I agree that he is lonely and sorrowful, and feels acutely the loss of his family, however justified he still imagines his course of action was [it is a very long time since I have been in that particular conversation].
I think we can slam the door shut, but I am not sure we are being entirely true to ourselves when we do it - more about protecting ourselves from further hurt perhaps. Perhaps it depends on eeh MLCer, the stage they are at, and also the quality of our previous relationship.
Much easier to be 'wise' for others than oneself!
And yes, it is expectations as well as emotional engagement that will cause hurt and pain.
