After 2 years separation, he still wants out!!!

[MommaDucki]

LOL! your response made me smile 25!
H never asks about what sort of contact I maintain with FIL and H's stepmom, so I don't ask. In the few off times he's asked, I've told him and he whines about it and i tell H it's his issue to deal with because he knew his dad would want more involvement in DD's life than H would allow....we all knew that from the start....it's just the kind of guy FIL is.....was on the road for work all the time while H was growing up and wasn't really there for him, then got divorced from MIL and she had custody, so H never was close to his dad....sad, but it explains a lot to me on so many levels.


Now that FIL is wstable in his job and home life, he has all the time in the world to be actively involved in all his grandkids lives. My nieces and nephews that H's side are almost always at "pop and nana's house" all weekend long. DD misses out because we lived so far away, but now that we're closer, I'd like her to be able to go there occasionally too.
H doesn't know that we did stop in there when we moved down here for just a short while. It was early on a monday morning, so we didn't have too much time as FIL and step MIL had to get to work, but they got to see her for a bit.

H's "issue" he claims is that FIL does so much more for DD than he ever did for H. I hear what he's saying, but I don't validate it...lol.What grandparent doesn't want to spoil they're grandkids in some way?

During our whole time H and I were separated, FIL and step MIL have sent birthday and xmas gifts every year, random "how's it going?" sort of cards to DD, call at least once a week, they send pictures, and actively choose to keep in part of their lives. I do the same...it's part of my values...what's important to me that I wish to pass on to DD...
She helps pick out birthday gifts, mother's day, fathers day, christmas, grandparents day even.....she draws them pictures that I send on to them, and we called them at least once every other week as well...
Compared to H that has been sporadic and unpredictable with giving me child support (I never had court ordered, though I almost regret it). H very seldomly called her (yes, he'd call or text me to ask how she was doing, but DD is very vocal and advanced for her age and really enjoys talking to him on the shone....he never wanted to make time to talk to her directly).
For about 6 months or so, H had a job that sent him all over the country doing technical installs for various companies.....on a few of his routes, he was near enough to where we lived that he'd swing through and see her for a couple of days. When I'd find out he was coming, I never went out of my way to spend time with him....I was living my life...and wasn't about to try to rearrange my work schedule and stuff just for him....Im getting offtopic here...ehe!

So, in regards to FIL and step-MIL, They are and always will be a part of DD's life...H's issue with his dad is just that.....HIS issue. I come from a rather large, very close knit family and having extended family that you're very close to is really important and valuable to me.....even if down the road H and I do D, FIL and step-MIL will always be DD's family, and I'll encourage their relationship as long as I can.