Don't really feel any different today. As a Catholic I still feel married, except a domestic legal partnership has been dissolved. Which is wierd because the settlement agreement basically constitutes another legal contract. It's amazing; I really feel no different.
The session before the judge went really quickly. He asked me only one question, and W just a few more. Standard stuff like: "Do believe MC would not help?" or "Are you certain the M is irretrievably broken?" etc.
One question W stammered around was, "why?". But in the end the judge signed off on the D.
Afterwards I offered a handshake to W but she came at me with a teary embrace with the words, "you're a good man." Didn't know what to say so I blurted, "You're good too." You know, she hasn't teared up since back in October when she was letting me down easy like. But this time I was strong and confident.
Other than that, it was just another day.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Pickle, answer this truthfully....What do you want? YOU?
I want to win the lottery!
Seriously though, I want to do my best at my one shot at my childrens' childhood and also enjoy my newfound liberty. They grow up so fast.
The old M is dead and good riddence (but not in a bitter way). No - I am not bitter, a little jaded perhaps, and everyone gets angered now and then, but I'm past bitter.
I am very much into the the bright side of the sitch, one being no more old conflicted M, yea! and two, I can really do whatever the he!! I want without spousal permission, for lack of a better word, but I think you guys know what I mean.
What do I really want? It's wide open right now isn't it? I'm gonna enjoy one day at a time for a little while, and not think about the future.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Do what you need to around this, only when you need to.
I don't know if or when I will seek an annulment. Although I should probably do it if I really start dating and feel like I want to develop something significant with a new, special someone. Not just because a piece of paper was signed and sealed.
I do not struggle with the idea, but I am thinking about it.
Just a little sitch update. Refi closing is tomorrow at 10:00 AM. W gets her half of the equity and I get the house. I decided to cash out a little extra to put toward the legal debt on poor little Discover Card.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Seriously though, I want to do my best at my one shot at my childrens' childhood and also enjoy my newfound liberty. They grow up so fast.
LMAO.
Good for you bud. I like your attitude.
We all get jaded, we all experience downs, but you know what? You are pretty consistent about it and as long as you are happy, that's all that matters.
I'll still question it, but as long as you continue to answer the way you do, I'll take your word for it. If you ever decide differently, I think you know where you can get advice, unbiased, from all of us.
First I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong I grew strong I learned how to carry on and so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face I should have changed my stupid lock I should have made you leave your key If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye you think I'd crumble you think I'd lay down and die Oh no, not I I will survive as long as I know how to love I know I will stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give and I'll survive I will survive
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself I used to cry Now I hold my head up high and you see me somebody new I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me
Go on now go walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye you think I'd crumble you think I'd lay down and die Oh no, not I I will survive as long as I know how to love I know I will stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give and I'll survive I will survive I WILL SURVIVE
Don't read anything into this post - I just like the song.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Update: WAW still hasn't found a job yet. I sense it's getting her down a bit. Been D for two weeks now. The house is mine. She has her settlement.
Any interaction is strictly business. She's still in the "doesn't want to be friends" stage. Seem uncomfortible around yours truly, though I could be misreading body language. Fine with me though; I'm GAL. It isn't so much an activities thing for me though, but more of an attitude thing, a keen desire to go forward and be happy.
Havn't had any encounters with VSV in a quite a while. (I just coigned a new abbr. VSV = vanom spitting viper!)
That's all for now folks. Still prayin' for ya. Pickle.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I'm happy you are GAL'n...but I hope you really quit watching her. She is on her journey and you are on yours. I look forward to you posting great times, but I also know that once you are experiencing great times....you won't post as much. Understand what I'm saying?
