For me, I found the "drop the rope" analogy most useful. Right now he's tugging on the "divorce rope" and you are tugging back. In the game of tug-o-war, the harder you pull on your end, the harder he pulls on his. But if you just drop your end of the rope while he's pulling - he'll fall over! If you stop resisting him so much, it will take the focus off of you and he'll have to think more about what he's doing. And if you look like you've made a lot of positive changes to yourself and are living an interesting fun life, he'll be more likely to come back. (And if he doesn't, heck - now you've made positive changes and are living an interesting fun life!!!)
Just know that I have NEVER seen anyone here guilt or argue a spouse into coming back into the marriage. It doesn't work.
