I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[ClingingToHope]

Interesting night last night. Met with my singles group at church to watch a gospel singer.

When I got home I sent STBXW a text to see if she called the school district to complain about a special education teacher who is not handling D8 well. D8 is a difficult child and she wares down the most patient of people.

But this teacher, you can just tell she doesn't like D8. Every single blowup this year where either STBXW or I had to go to school involved this teacher. She doesn't have the temperment to deal with special needs kids.

Anyway, instead of texting back she called -- on D12's phone. She said hers died, but she responded to my texts. She might have used D12's phone because she knows I answer when D12 calls.

Anyway, she filled me in on what she was planning to do about the special ed teacher and then, before I could hang up, she said her sister is driving her crazy.

I could have begged off the phone, but I decided to listen and she talked for 30 minutes about how her sister is taking advantage of her and her mom and she doesn't know when it's ever going to end.

And I just listened. In the past, if I offered advice or agreed that, yes, her sister is a loser then STBXW would get defensive and say I never supported her.

The girls have told me that STBXW doesn't like her boss. Yet another younger worker who zoomed past her because STBXW doesn't have a degree. This one is a stickler about STBXW's schedule and since I'm not there to cover for her, she is occasionally late because of the girls and has to leave early.

When it was over I got this rush, this hope, that, you know ... seven days from now she may not go through with it.

And then I went for a run to refocus myself. I don't know what will happen in seven days. I don't know what will happen today. I've got enough on my plate that I don't need to worry about what she will do in the future.

Still ... it's hard to let go. I think STBXW will be my cross to bear for the rest of my life. Perhaps not on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis. But I'll likely have to be there for her a few times each year.