Last thread got locked. Detach Dog is mostly just a dog with some detached tendencies. I am not going to respond to her text but will give her the 200 bucks ASAP for the guitar.
Not really a whole lot to report. I am seeing that her R with OM is not about to fizzle anytime soon. My point of no return will be if he moves in with her. To me, that is like being married without the piece of paper and the church. I dont think I can recover from that.
As it is, the longer she continues with her active R, the tougher it will be to have a R. I dont think Im at the point where I cant forgive her, however, I DONT understand her at all. I thought her R with him would have ended long ago. She told me back in March that she had a plan to end it with him and be on her own to figure herself out.
Either she is not strong enough to be on her own, or she really believes she has a future with her loser Boyfriend.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I tried to respond to your last post but it was locked. Something along the lines of my cheap starter, $200 guitar has a whammy bar
Originally Posted By: ninelives
Not really a whole lot to report. I am seeing that her R with OM is not about to fizzle anytime soon. My point of no return will be if he moves in with her. To me, that is like being married without the piece of paper and the church. I dont think I can recover from that.
As it is, the longer she continues with her active R, the tougher it will be to have a R. I dont think Im at the point where I cant forgive her, however, I DONT understand her at all. I thought her R with him would have ended long ago. She told me back in March that she had a plan to end it with him and be on her own to figure herself out.
I feel almost exactly the same as you right now. W has mentioned that finances were tight (well duh) and had even considered a roommate. I just don't see OM moving in with her though. He is a complete slob and would drive W crazy. Who knows though.
Originally Posted By: ninelives
Either she is not strong enough to be on her own, or she really believes she has a future with her loser Boyfriend.
In my sitch, I think it's more of the former.
In both of our cases, we *know* we're strong enough!
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
DG, I get those 'earworms' all the time, and they're usually pretty bad songs too (or at least annoying). One of my bad habits (and not likely to change) is to share those songs and pass them along. I'm such a brat that way.
On that note, sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight! Aaaaaa-afternoon delight
sorry everyone
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Just be the best 9 you can be. I know you've heard that at least 100 times now . You'll be quite a catch for next one and it will be her loss if she doesn't come out of her fog. Her relationship will eventually fail when going starts getting tough.
I hear y'all on those song titles. I can't get them out of head either. Seems like Tom Petty may some appropo song titles, too like "The Waiting is the Hardest Part" and "Don't Come Around Here No More".
How about, Guns and roses" I used to love her , but I had to kill her". No I dont want people to think Im losing it and heading towards homicidal thoughts, I am not.
She called youngest son this morning. She bought him a brand new IPOD. For no reason. Money is tight for her and she is buying expensive gifts. I told him straight up. " I cant afford to buy you new things if its not your birthday or a special holiday" . He said. " Its okay, dad, your gift is you are the best dad in the world" He has always said things like that.
I think she is trying to placate her guilt by those gifts, Alice Cooper concerts etc.. All they want is their mother to love them and feel secure.
I actually gave both my sons crap yesterday for being lazy. I have a job to do and that is raise my kids right. Not spoil them.
As for the support with the other BITS and NC. I will only contat her when its a rational concern for the kids and an official matter. But I still continue to upbeat when we do converse and not get drawn in to NEGATIVE talk.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
BTW, two days ago, my BIL asked if I wanted to come over for supper with my boys. Remember, my BIL is married to her crazy sister who told me off a few weeks ago and has meddled in our lives from the get go.
I said, " no thanks, but the boys can go" Bil said that I was welcome and that my SIL said I wouldnt accept because of the big fight we had. I mean, that is how she always works. Stirs crap up, has a blow up and then acts like nothing is wrong and usually apologizes for her atrocious behaviour.
I dont have time for her anymore. I will accept her apology if she does again but I will not go over there and will distance myself from that family. Bil is different. I will still hang with him when he comes over.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
My W's grandfather and one of her brothers have made crude and significantly negative comments about me. In my life, I do not associate with people like that. Maybe I will forgive them. I have to some extent. They do not see the whole story or they are simply trying to help my W feel better. Still, the comments were out of line.
In the mean time, understand that if your boys go to the meal, your SIL could make comments that you will not be there to deflect for the sake of your kids. And as you say, your BIL is still good company.
Do what you will, but if that were me and the offer was there, I would go just simply to show my kids that I CAN "man up". Be the role model that you wish your kids to have.
I've been following your sitch 9. You have come a long way in a short period of time. Like someone else said, continue being the best nine possible. If your W doesn't wake up to see what she is losing, there will be another lucky lady in your life someday.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Song titles, yes, they're like cocaine runnin round my brain.
Your call, I'd go with the kids.
To show I could, that someday they should too, and because it might not be as bad as I thought it could be.
A month in I went to a B-Day party at one of the SIL's apartments. Practicaly all of W family was present. It was there they began to see I was not the crazy abuser.
I and my kids have a better relationship with them now than I beleive we would have because I was able to go.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
