Last night I picked up S17 from work and took him back to the Grand Opening event I was attending. On the way home, we had a very brief talk about the situation. There was really nothing said, but it still got me upset. Being dark certainly helps me to not think about things, but even the mention of STBX and OM can still set me off.
He told me that STBX said "I never hear from your Dad anymore". At least that means she has noticed. He also told me that he never tells her anything about my life, just like he tells me virtually nothing about hers. I actually wish he would tell her some, since I am doing so many things differently than in the past. No biggie though.
When we were still together, STBX was constantly working - literally 60 hours a week. One thing S17 did tell me about her life is that she no longer works Mon - Wed. I guess now that she is openly involved with her Boss/restaurant owner, she doesn't need to be there to see him, and they both would prefer her to be at home since they live in the same apartment building. It's only a matter of time before they move in together. I am preparing myself for that.
I felt that urge for the drug in my veins this morning, and wanted to contact STBX. I don't even understand why. I will keep my pact with Nine and Learning and not do a thing. I am going to do something for her b'day on June 23, which also happens to be the 23rd anniversary of the day we met. I am thinking through a couple of ideas and will present them here for feedback at some point. By then it will have been 2 months since we have seen each other (we had never gone more than a week or so until now) and most likely a month since we will have spoken.
Nine & Learning - on to day 9 of my most recent darkness. Thanks for being my NCB: No Contact Brothers.
