thanks for replying. It's so nice to hear from people who've had similar experiences. My H is definitely a conflict avoided. Or better known as passive aggresive. I somehow thought this would change when in MLC, seeing as every other aspect of him has. I'm not sure if H not yelling at me makes it better or worse. Better in a sense that I'm not being verbally abused. But worse is the mental abuse. And because he holds everything in I'm afraid that he will never face his issues. Nothing I can do about that. It is what it is. He is what he is. Nothing I do or say will change him. It's his life and his to live.
The hardest thing for me to have realized is that I cannot save him this time. I have never been the type to save people. I've mostly gone out with people whom I'd admired because I thought they were succesful not that they needed rescuing. Now Ive come to realise that mine and Hs relationship was co-dependent. I felt good about "rescuing" him. But perhaps he resented it in some way and maybe this is why he's had to "rescue" OW, to feel good about himself. What a mess we got ourselves in!
W - 31 H - 33 Married - 7 years Together - 10 yrs Kids - S 3yrs old Separated - 27/03/11 OW - 10/04/11
