Thanks sunny. I appreciate your encouragement. I do have time - in fact I have 3 months from the time the paperwork is filed (not when we were separated) so I will probably end up with almost 6 months. I think that is a fair amount of time.
I know a lot of people here don't always know what to say to me because I've been through this "successfully" before. Sure I know what worked last time which is a huge clue but this time isn't completely the same so any advice is always welcome and the support is greatly appreciated. I'm also finding that I'm struggling more this time with the entire thing.
However, I have seen some positive signs and I need to remember those, keep hoping and let him work through his stuff. Initiating contact (as I remember from last time) isn't a horrible thing to do as long as I'm being light and friendly and not pressing about the R. I have to walk a fine line between annoying him with too much contact but not going completely silent for days on end.
Tonight he found a great groupon deal for lasik which we both have wanted to get in the past. He said he was going to do it and we could just deduct it from his side of the finances in the D. I said well I want it too... so we just both got the deal and I guess that evens out. Then he asked for the car Saturday to go hiking. In the theme of the "what to do when you're stuck" post by the dbmod, I decided to try something totally different. I called him up. Now written methods of communication tend to be the best for him (and us...) but like I said, I was doing something different. I totally woke him up as he'd just gone to bed. I felt bad and apologized profusely but we chatted for 5 or 10 minutes about lasik and this weekend and etc. I was happy, light, friendly, treated him, worked in some words of affirmation, etc.
I will contact him tomorrow using one of the anniversary suggestions above. Probably 25's because the other one wouldn't come across right. Then he'll come to get the car at some point and ... I won't contact him for a couple days. We'll see what happens. I guess we'll have to contact again for him to drop off the car but I'll let him drive all of that.
Went to a board game meetup group tonight at a local coffee shop, it was a lot of fun! The pub trivia was also a good time last night. Don't have much planned for the weekend except Sunday watching the NBA Finals game with my friend.
