thanks for the response only planning on staying with H till I have enough for deposit/bit of rent saved up again....my car breaking down on the trip here ate up like 70% on what I had....lol! even had the appointment set up to meet with leasing agent and everything and POOF! one step back, yet I'm coping (somewhat).
Guess I was back here again as more a means of venting annonymously....Journaling is second nature to me these days, but I sometimes want more....C helped....gave me that other outlet if I needed it...
So far, I've had a bit of work to start me off again, and had an interview today that went really well and I have several others tomorrow too. Plus, tomorrow is storytime at the nearby library, so DD and I will be there and have a playdate afterwards with a new friend she made at the park last weekend. H doesn't like that I'm go go go all the time...says he wants me here with DD so he can spend time with her too, but he just sits on his computer playing video games all day. Yes, he pays attention to her when she approaches, and they've always had a strong bond, but still, he won't full out care for her if I'm here....I mind, yet I don't. Seeing as I've had her with me constantly for the almost 2 1/2 years we've been separated,I've gotten so accustomed to just having her with me while I do what needs to be done.My parents watched her while I worked, but other than that, she's my lil sidekick for sure.
probs between H and I aside, He's more than capable of caring for her if she were left alone with him. He does love his little girl, but like so much else in life, he'd rather someone else do it for him if possible. I know he's a bit overwhelmed by her. In the time we've been apart, there have been lots of phone calls between her and H and quite a few trips that went both ways. Sometimes, he'd come up to where we lived for a visit, other times, we'd come down here. He was always bothered when we came down here because we'd always stop off at his parents house on our way to him, or on the way home (they live about 2 1/2 hours north of him. He isn't on speaking terms with his dad at all and hasn't been for almost two years now. His dad was hospitalized shortly after another crazy scheme of H's and H's dad said enough is enough, that H was causing him to have health issues and he'd just rather not be a part of his life. I, on the other hand, just want DD to know her other grandparents. I don't weigh them down with much about my life. I've never really had any huge issues with them that still cause probs to this day. I keep them updated about DD and they talk on the phone and on the pc as well.
H's stance right now is that his father shouldn't and won't see his granddaughter unless he calls and talks to H first to make ammends. So, now I'm being dragged into a mess.
Sorry for the ranting again...does feel rather theraputic to let it all out though
me 32 H 30 T 8 years M ~5 years DD 3 years first d-bomb dec 06 second bomb may 07 third bomb july 08 finally seperated jan 09 a move for "progress'" sake may 11
