Wow-our situations sound similar. I am still being "monitored" so this may not post for a while but my H has had similar issues about my weight (apparently, although my BMI has been in the normal range for years I have not applied myself to reach 135 lbs as was my original goal when we met), and he still seizes on to the issue that I have tried multiple ways to do it but have not done it "his way" to ensure success.
Now I am super thin and he is angry-angry that I couldn't do it before. I think I blew it last week-because of financial reasons I had to have a R talk and it was a disaster. Ended up validating, letting him speak about his trust issues with our finances and pouring himself into me and my issues all of this year-all to find that he is renewing his lease. I even said "ILY" repeatedly, hoping to reach him. I finally acknowledged to him that I realize our marriage is hopeless and I understand why he feels the way he feels.
So all of my GALs(weight loss, soccer player, going out more, etc)-although cheered and recognized....was a bit applauded as too little too late. I recovered nicely and last weekend (my daughter casey's 3rd birthday), I quietly made plans to do mother-daughter things and to avoid the whole birthday party/family thing. I think my H was surprised. I proactively cleaned out his closet and during a child exchange, mentioned to him that he might need his summer shirts and he should take them with them. I also packed up the rest of the closet!
Because of my job, I have to be out of town for the next 3 days so H has to stay here...have to admit I am super nervous since I don't want him to be snooping in the office while I am gone. But nothing can be done about that. I have been going dark (which seems to be working best) but is hard to do with child exchange. I make a point to be positive, happy, and act "as if" but keep the conversations short and business like. He has been trying to initiate conversation but I make a point to end the exchanges first.
During our last conversation, I received a mild threat-he tried to get me to agree to NOT use an attorney if I decided to move forward with divorce proceedings. In the past, he has been able to manage me with reasoning and Australian charm, so for me to say "I can't say that I will do that" was a first for me. I have called my attorney and-well-I have an appointment for the week of June 20th. I have to say this may be my big LRT. He has emphasized that he cannot get his feelings back, that the trust and his dreams of Australian property (living on the beach for 6 months of the year) are gone and that he wants to be my friend and go and do brunch once in a while.....I am working full time, taking care of the kids, traveling for work, paying all of the bills for the house and kids-and I am tired. He works as a part-time tennis coach and is only trying to support himself right now. Hope I haven't seen the attorney by the time I get some replies!
