Words get in the way

[angel61]

Over the memorial day weekend we visited relatives again. W had so much fun - went clubbing with the SILS, BILS and CILS, was able to get H to dance with me.

We ate out several times, and he was always attentive, he took care of me, cracked crabs for me, and there was a lot of talk about the future, as mentioned to relatives. Things like "we will vsit next year", "we will have the house fixed", and lastly "we will retire in a vineyard..."

I just did not talk, or even think, about anything negative. No OW thoughts, no snooping, no money questions, no shows of mistrust. We had fun. We are getting comfortable. We even ML once again.

I keep on thinking of forgiveness.I kept on praying that I would know what to say, that I could keep my cheerful mood.

I see that I am geting good at putting the past away. I am working on dealing with the present and the future.

I a getting better at controlling myself. Especially since....

I have a challenge soon to come, and I have to make sure I handle it well. The second weekend from now, I will be out of the country, and H will be left here with D. He has a talk coming up in OW's city! He arranged this a couple of months back.

Of course I am worried. All kinds of thoughts are entering my mind. He said he is bringing D with him which would be a good thing, as he is not going to do any crazy stuff with D around, but again, I should trust God and him that even without D around nothing bad will happen. And again, I trust that whatever will happen is part of the situation. I have to let go.

I am not going to ask about anything - plans, etc.Not even about what he is planning for D. I know he will take care of her. I need strength to stick to my plans.

I have a feeling he is testing me, watching what I will do.

25, Cyrena, ever had a situation in your sitch like mine?