This is perfectly normal and should be expected. If you think the messages are mixed that she sends to you, just imagine how mixed up they are inside of herself. There's probably a lot of love/hate/anger/sadness and confusion going on.
It's not meant to be a trap, but you still want to stay on your best behaviour.
This will likely go on for a long time and you *will* get sick of it. When you do, you'll just need to suck it up a little more if you truly want to salvage your R.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
Kind of fell off the wagon tonight. I started asking the W relationship questions she was getting kind of crappy and finally said that we will sit down after the kids go to bed and I can ask any questions that I have. Now I have no idea what I want to ask........and I am kind of freaking out.
"Why the mixed signals"? B/C she has mixed feelings.
that's perfectly reasonable, don't you think? Yes it is and it's "normal", given the givens. In fact it's a positive in my book.
And it has not yet been even a month. She's doing great to be able to be in touch with any positives. Be grateful.
How's your work going?
How about we have less of Eyeore, and more of Tigger?
They are 180's of each other.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Oh, I had not seen this when I posted...dang Chris, you sure like pain...self inflicted.
And it is self inflicted. Just take J3b's advice and CS's etc...
Originally Posted By: ChrisW
Kind of fell off the wagon tonight. I started asking the W Why? Why? Why?
relationship questions she was getting kind of crappy But you kept on...why why why?
and finally said that we will sit down after the kids go to bed and I can ask any questions that I have. Now I have no idea what I want to ask........and I am kind of freaking out.
You got some good advice. This time, take it. And when something works, the idea is to keep doing it and NOT switching back to what we know does not work.
Don't do what you do b/c you've always done it b/c you'll get what you've always gotten.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yes I asked one question.....I asked a question that I already knew the answer to. So, no surprises, no new anxiety. Today we had a good day with the kids and interacted some. When we got home I thanked her. She was like ok, your welcome. I told her thank you for a great day. I wasnt pushing my luck.
She told me last night that she didnt want to go to a MC because they would want to discuss how to save the M and she isnt there yet 100%. I know that is hard to hear...but I am doing a 180 and trying to look at it a positive manor. I am choosing to look at it like this. She isnt there 100% so that means she could be moving that direction. It means she is considering it. I have to take it as a good sign or my anxiety and impulse to talk things to death will drive me crazy. Of course it is already high since I am taking a beating on Facebook from her friends.
