My w went to the city yesterday to look at a guitar for oldest sons upcoming bday. But she forgot to drop off youngest sons cleats for soccer and I was not about to go there to get them. My son is a goalie so it wasnt the end of the world but I can guarantee you that If I forgot them, It would have been a huge deal. I wont even mention it to her or I will say it in a positive way.
Secondly, as many of you know , I teach at a highschool and I saw oldest, really shy son, with possibly his FIRST girlfriend. We exchanged knowing glances and he was beaming inside, I could recognize it. I called his name after he passed me and he ignored me, ( i was smiling ear to ear) I called a second time, he ignored again, I called a third and he anxiously came back to see what I wanted. I just wanted to know if he brought his lunch today or had lunch money as I have a meeting at lunch and want to make sure he will be fed. He said he didnt and I quick as I could told him I will find him in the caf and buy him lunch.
As I was walking away, a thousand thoughts went through my head including how fast he has grown and that I need to reinforce the TALK, and then thought about him actually having sex... YIIIKES.
Then I thought, I dont have the opportunity to share this with my Wife and this is but one example of the many things I would love to talk with her about as we lay in bed or something. This did not detract from my smile but it also took some of the joy from it. Dont misread this, Im not hoping he will have sex, quite the opposite but I am a realist in this area.
No 2x4s necessary as I did not call my W to share this but I was tempted to do so. I was telling a collegue about it as they know my son is very shy and was in a shell forever. I said to my collegue,. " Its a shame that my W lost her mind, these are the things she would love to talk about with me. We could have had such a happy life with our family"
Its beyond my control.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Man I am sorry you are having a rough few days and I know exactly what you mean about those special moments that come and you want to share them so much with her but can’t. I wonder why that is though. Why it is that one person can cause so much hurt and damage in our lives? Do we let them? Do we want to stay in the hurt? I doubt any of us do.
Emotions are a funny thing. One minute you think you are doing great the next………..well not so much.
I think you must proceed as if your M is dead, over, finite. There is nothing to save. Your life does not include her in it. Your life is yours to live. What she does say’s or thinks is no concern of yours. She has made her decision and you make yours.
Move on.
Have you decided to start dating? I can’t remember.
If and when she ever decides anything at that point you have something to think about. Till that moment comes, well there is nothing to think about.
I have told you before there is hope in your sitch but not until you have totally moved on and I mean for real.
The feelings?
Well they are what they are, nothing you can do about them at all. They will come. They will haunt you. They will punish you and throughout the whole thing you will live. The sun will rise tomorrow and another day to heal will come.
Be patient with yourself 9, there is no measuring stick as to when you should feel a certain way it just kind of happens.
Got home from work, man things are challenging me right now.
One of my favourite students did a real stupid thing. He was on my Vb team and the captain and was amazing as I was falling apart, thats when i found out about the A. Anyway, jsut the other day, he was at a track meet and at night , skipped curfew, went downtown to a bar. Then tried to stiff the cabbie for the fare at 3 am.
Since I am the athletic director, this has fallen on my lap for the discipline. It has me so upset. He is such a nice kid but has gotten in with the wrong crowd lately. I just got back an hour ago to visit him. He is devestated by his behavior and has been suspended from school sports for six months.
I used to talk to my Wife about stuff like this but no one to really confide in now. Miss that as well.
Sitting at home trying to figure out how to get my oldest son to do his homework. He has shut down and doesnt care about school. I have taken away privledges but he doesnt care. Refuses council of any kind.
And my pump for the pool wont work. Damn what a day! Could be much worse though, my wife could have left me, oh yeah, she did.
She did text me today about the guitar she bought for upcoming bday for oldest son. She didnt really consult me about it as I told her that my buddy thought it wasnt a good buy. Old me would have said, " I cant believe you bought the guitar despite me telling you that it wasnt a good buy".. New me: " I hope he likes the guitar, it doesnt have a whammy bar which he likes but im sure he will love it" Maybe not even mention whammy bar. Just be positive. She wants the 200 bucks, ( my half) as soon as possible. Could money be that tight?
Tomorrow will be better
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
