She's lost in MLC. I really miss her

[broken5150]

Hello everyone,

My wife and I have been separated since Thanksgiving of 2010. We’ve a pretty good marriage despite of allot of arguing due to her mother living with us. We have been together for 21 years (since we were 17) married for 14. We have 3 beautiful kids. The oldest (13) has autism. We have been through allot together as a couple. Even though we did have more than our share of arguments, we knew that we were meant for each other.

For the last 8 years, my wife has been in school, work and trying to manage a home. Her mother is very dependent of her, actually, they are dependent of each other. Her mother acts as if she can’t manage on her own, which she very well can. Her mother had constantly interfered in the upbringing of our kids this is where most of my anger came from.

My wife had been overweight the majority of our relationship together. 6 years ago, she had a lap band surgery done. She had lost a significant amount of weight. This was followed by a tummy tuck and breast augmentation. My wife claimed she was doing it for me. I had never asked for this. She did because she was insecure.

Shortly after this surgery, her character started to change. She became obsessed with Face book and trying to look for “old friends”. Face book was something that she was strictly against in the past because she thought it brought problems to the house. I was totally against this because I know the damage that Face book can cause to a marriage and that she also wanted to show off her new looks. This was starting to worry me….

Fast forward to October 5th 2010 1:00 am in the morning, I heard a slam against the house. It was a car with two young boys that lost control and went into my backyard. I tried to pull them out but the car was a wreck. The two boys died there in my back yard. I thought she had handled it well, but now that I’m reading up on MLC and MLC triggers, I think that might have done triggered something in her. Or maybe, bought out something that was already brewing.

Come Thanksgiving, she had planned to go to theme parks. I had asked to please not to, because I feared that it might by my father’s last Thanksgiving. He is 90 yrs old. She totally blew me off and left with her mother and my kids. These theme parks are 3 hours away. After my father refused to do anything for Thanksgiving, I had asked if I could meet my wife and kids for the remainder of the holiday. She flat out told me NO! She also said that she has been needing a separation and time to “find herself”. After begging and pleading, she finally accepted and I drove the 3 hours to get there. It was no more than 2 hours before she has asked me to leave and go back home. Mind you, I got there at 10 pm! So, I respected her and left.

When I came back, I fixed up the house for Xmas so they can come back to a nice home. On the way back, she has clearly asked me to not be there when she got back. So, I left. I did so because we live with her mother and it’s her mother’s home.

Since this moment of this separation, I had asked her to please NOT mention this to anyone and to keep it within our family. Again, she wiped her but with the request and told all her friends and family. Her excuse for the separation was that the mere sight of me made her sick. She started re-writing history claiming it was 20 years of misery with me and all I did was control, dominate and make her life miserable.

When heard all of this, I was in total shock!

During these 7 months, she has been dressing provocatively, she has been talking about getting into professional dancing, then to professional photography and yesterday, she said that she wants to get into roller derby! She has been going out every night clubbing, skating and hanging out with friends to all hours of the night. She has been screaming at our kids telling them that she and their father are NEVER getting back together. She has been lying and creating fictitious stories about why I’m not at the house anymore. She has been spreading rumors of me leaving the house for another woman and that I have been physically abusive to my wife. Here is the kicker, her mother is supporting all her actions and claims that she can’t control her daughter. I’m pretty sure that if her mother was NOT in the picture, she could not be doing the things that she is right now.

During these 7 months, I had been forced to live with my father in his retirement home. I had been patiently waiting to see if she would snap out of this but it looks like she’s not. I spend all my free time at church with my worship team or with my kids. This past weekend, it was my youngest birthday party. She, again, took them to a theme park. She told me that if I wanted to go, that I would have to drive up on my own, stay in a different hotel and in the park, stay away from her and split the time with the kids! WTH!

She has broken all contact with the circle of friends and family that we had due to the reason that when they tried to talk sense into her, she claimed that they all “betrayed her”. There for, she wrote them all letters telling them that they are horrible people and she leaves them in God’s hands. She is spending all her time with single people who accept her behavior. She claims that I turned all our friends against her.

On a daily basis, she spews venomous anger and hatred towards me. She says that my feelings and resentments are pathetic and that I’m a dead beat dad. She said that I ruined the marriage and she is bringing up stuff that happened in our prom in 1990. She claims she has filed for divorce 4 months ago and I have not seen anything yet. Frankly, by the way she is acting, she could careless wither I live or die.

My question is, do you think this is MLC? How should I handle this? Any input would be greatly appreciated. I’ll keep all of you in prayer my friends.

Thanks!