Kettricken I understand how contradictory this is. Lately though I have come to understand how ingrained this bi thing is for her. It's something she feels she has no control over. I can also tell she wants to be loved for who she is. Last nights conversation made this perfectly clear. After 3 months I think no amount of DB will change that. She is attracted to both men and women. The issue in question now is whether she can be monogamous. The answer in her mind right now is NO.
That being said how many times have we heard WAW's say this? I'm sure this phrase is familiar:
"afterall this I don't think I can stay married to one person, I need my freedom!!"
We all know that all the sweet talking in the world will not dissuade these women. They need to choose for themselves to remain monogamous. I've seen plenty of threads were the WAW's keep going to OP's despite promising to stay faithful during the LRT. That's because they were forced or pressured into monogamy. I will not do that to my W. I want her to freely choose me.
Last night was kind of a positive step, because at least she willingly and lovingly committed to no OM's. After talking about it we came to the conclusion that having members of the opposite sex was not worth the strain and risk it would put on our marriage. I'm hoping the same will happen with OW's. Hopefully before she follow through.
Speaking of following through.....
I also suspect that she may not follow through... (well maybe it's more praying). I'm hoping that the idea is more enticing than actually going through with it. I know her well enough to know that it is important to her that I take her seriously, even if she ends up changing her mind.
I still think she has not completely made up her mind. She needs to find out where she stands. Once she knows we can proceed.
Both times she left and we were separated, she made sure to stress that she was free, and could pursue OP's if she wanted. As far as I know she never did. I know she must have had her reasons. I'm hoping that happens again.
