This choice to try your best to save a marriage, this is the worse part of: "for better or worse."
I have told myself this over and over during the past 6 months Jack. At what point do we need to begin to look out for ourselves though? Yes this has been the 'worse' part of my M vows. And I have hung in there. But what happens when your W just takes advantage of you sticking with her through the 'worse'? I'm struggling with this right now.
Denver, you're getting so much advice here and everyone is trying to make their points it is confusing and at times conflicting; surprised your head hasn't exploded.
What I got from above is a sense of...entitlement.
You throw 6 months out, that's fine. I'll counter with: Have you changed? You'll likely say yes, and I'll agree
Have you changed enough? Or is the above post of yours indicative of the guy who's character lead him here?
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At what point do we need to begin to look out for ourselves though?
The whole time I did. I looked at my wife and realized that while she was 'running' if I didn't do my best, I would also likely always end up 'running' away as well. I used everything and everyone I could to last as long and go as far as I could.
Was I doormat? I could give 2 sh1ts what anyone else thought or thinks. This was my character, my vow, my wife, and my family.
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Yes this has been the 'worse' part of my M vows.
On your end. I wonder when it was 'worse' for her? But we only feel slighted from our hurt our pain. If you believe in karma, its cuts both ways.
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But what happens when your W just takes advantage of you sticking with her through the 'worse'?
How is/was she taking advantage of you?
Are you paying for her apartment?
Did she lie to you? Yeah more than likely. More than likely. Don't get me wrong I'm not the type to believe they only hung out...but only 2 people in the entire world KNOWS EXACTLY what happened that night, and I'd trust neither of them.
Your anger? It is justified.
The part that worries me about you Denver is this, and I mean this honestly and truthfully:
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At what point do we need to begin to look out for ourselves though?
When have you prior to 6 months ago, not looked out for yourself?
This is the corner stone of your wife's fear.
I'd expect you or anyone to point out their worry if I posted that I just bought an Alien Harware Computer system and a copy of City of Heroes.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
