Ok so she came back last night claiming she drove around town angry.

She then tried to explain why she lost her temper
I tried to make her understand it was uncalled for. She then asked me if I had plans for the weekend. I told her no, she then told me she did. I said ok. I'm guessing you are meeting someone. She said yes is that a problem. (I know by now this is a challenge) I just said no, and backed away. (at that moment we were in bed cuddling. She instantly asked if everything was ok. I said yeah it's fine. She said: I can tell everything is not ok. I said: what am I supposed to do? This is hard. I then asked her a bunch of questions about it. Long story short it's an OW that lives nearby. She asked if I was bothered, all I could say was this is not easy to accept, you can't expect me to just let it roll off my back. She then said, "I don't even know if I will be doing anything with her". I told her that didn't matter.

I then asked what happened to doing things slowly together. She then told me that once again she felt uncomfortable seeing me with other women, and didn't want to see it. I said how do you think I feel knowing that you will be with someone else. She responded, but it's a woman, not a man. Clearly to her it is not the same to have a same sex fling as an opposite sex fling. I tried explaining to her how it was the same, but I could tell her mind was made up.

At some point I told her I didn't want OM involved. She said that it was no problem, that she only really wanted me, and that she had pursued OM only because it was "fair" since I could pursue women. So she did it out of spite....
We established that neither of us could tolerate opposite sex partners and agreed to set that as a boundary. (although if you keep score that's a losing deal for me, since I'm not bi) not that I care anyway.

At one point she brought up that things have been better because she finally felt that she could trust me enough to be herself(bisexual) without me freaking out. I agreed that we have been closer I'm the last 2 weeks than in the whole time I had been back. She felt bad for this.

I emphasized to her that to me she was the only person I needed, and that it hurt for her to need women. She apologized, and looked like she felt sorry for hurting me.

I told her I was not happy with the sitch but that I would let her try it out, and do my best to make it work. She seemed happy with this. (of course! She just got her cake to eat!)

We also made a strong commitment to work on our sex life.

We then went to bed.

Today she has been super sensitive of my needs, I know I'm trying to detach from this whole sitch, and I can tell she can tell. Before anyone says something I'm not trying to manipulate this time, I really do feel less loving towards her. This is not me trying to teach her a lesson, this is just the reality she will have to live with.

I told her: "the day I don't get jealous it's because I stopped
Loving you"

I'm trying real hard not to let jealousy kick in. If you get what I mean.

Ok so why am I allowing all this?

Well one I know she arranged this while angry at me, she's done this in the past and failed to follow through once the anger goes away. I think she does it out of spite. Childish I know, I don't want to encourage this behavior by continuing to react to it. I hope by sat she will be thinking clearly.

Yesterday we received our moving date, she came up with this date yesterday. Makes me wonder if she is calling my bluff about the open marriage bit. Feels like she is testing to see how I react before we move over seas.

At the same time I am also calling HER bluff. Seeing how committed she is to this open marriage thing. Up until now she has been all talk, I know her she has serious guilt issues. I'm wondering if she'll have a change of heart before or after it happens.

If it does happen whether she regrets it or not I know some damage will be done. To what extent I dont know. What my actions will be I don't know. Will I be hurt absolutely. Could I forgive her if she regrets it? I don't know. To be honest I don't know. I also don't want to make any threats I can't back up.

So yeah I am leaving the choice as to whether she can go through with it on her. I can't change her mind for her. Lord knows I have tried. I am going to give her a chance to redeem herself, and toss all this away. I think it is clear to her that this will hurt me. I want to give her the chance to choose not to do it.

Finally there is the STD part as much as a hypochondriac as she is I know this is weighing heavily on her. Maybe that will tip it over. Who knows.

All I know is that come Sunday morning I will at least have a clearer picture of the type of person she is for better or worse. This will help me to finally make some choices. It's really very bittersweet.

This whole time I have been wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt. At least I'll know soon.