One thing I can't get out of my head is her statement that she was working on our relationship from November thru January but some of my actions/decisions in the December thru Feb timeframe made her thing that I didn't want to stay married and that she was done with me.
The things she cited where 1. Me taking 2 of the children to NY for Christmas eve to visit my parents (who she won't visit btw) 2. Booking 4 nights at a Cape Cod campground (total of $60) when she didn't want to go a family vacation was me trying to have separate vacations. 3. Me taking the children skiing in February for a weekend with my father was another separate vacation. 4. Me renewing an inexpensive golf membership was me being selfish.
All but the first one was done after she decided again that we needed to separate. All of the trips I would have loved to have done as a family of 5 but she refused.
I guess I did make most of the decisions from a GAL and I want to have something enjoyable for the children. Just because she was miserable and didn't want to change didn't mean that I should be.
I think this is just her trying to rewrite history to justify her decision but I still want to see if there's something I can take away for the future. Maybe back in December I should have planned a family trip to show her I wanted to stay together.
Maybe I should just admit we can't be married because she wants to eliminate all family contact (she no longer talks to her mother, father or two brothers because they are bad for her) and I want to still have a relationship with my family.
I'm not sure why I can't let this go. Maybe it's her saying if I just did X,Y, or Z in the past things would be different and she wouldn't be forced to do this.
One other thing is last month W did say that me moving out was "a test" that I needed to pass for her.
W doesn't have any goals for this separation besides not seeing me. I'm going to GAL and be the best dad I can be. I'll try to go semi-dark but I'm not sure how easy that will be when co-parenting 3 children.
Married 15 years 3 children 13, 12, 10 1st D bomb Jan 09 2nd D bomb Feb 11 I moved out June 11
