Originally Posted By: greenblue90
It's not that I'm afraid ... It's not that waiting for this uti to be over will magically solve everything. It's that I am worried....just get me blamed for being inconsiderate. She'll call me manipulative and controlling and every other thing WAW's do when they feel cornered with R talk.

Where do we stand? Not sure, last we spoke we were going to try things slowly, and together. We were going to work on our sex life, and we weren't going to go off with other OP's without asking each other for permission first. (her idea).

Then the damn uti hit, and I worry that she will clam up once again. Say that ml to me is not worth the uti that may come with it. She'll start feeling frustrated again for not getting her needs met again and go full blown WAW again. It sounds ridiculous

My only consolation is how affectionate she has been.

I know her mind must
be spinning right now, it frustrates me because we had made so much progress healing I hate to see it all fall apart over something almost so random as an infection.

How long has she been taking anti-biotics for it? They'll work soon.


I also hate that everything has to be on her timeline.

As for W's orientation, I am convinced that it will always remain fluid. The question is if we can channel that into a way that would not include OP's. The trips to the strip club, and porn were a good start.


I disagree, but hey, it's your life.

I guess the plan is to get her to the point where she realizes how dumb it would be to go through with it afterall.

I know young at heart asked me not to play the jealousy angle too much, and I agree. I also want her to realize that by going through with all this she is opening pandora's box and may very well lose me someday.

My hope is to do enough to have her say: is this fling I'm about to go into worth losing my husband?

None of this is about your own work on you. None of it.

It is all about changing/manipulating/ steering HER into "getting to see/to realize, etc-- things your way"...etc. did you read the DB books? I forgot.


I don't remember the poster but someone here said that they tried the open marriage thing, and his W snapped out of it when she found a love letter to him.


Hopefully things will resolve soon. She insisted she was turned on to see me flirt with other women. So yes I intend to put this to the test, in the hopes that she will say: "jeez that girl seemed interested, I wonder if I could lose him to her....maybe we need to stop this open marriage thing."

Does that sound like a plan? Most likely not but it's the crazy game I'm working on.


you said it.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change