18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[25yearsmlc]

I'm not sure what the deal is with the other woman.

I think he has been cake eating. However, I do see a change in the last few weeks, as I have signaled more and more that I am moving away in 3 months. ^^^^^^^ see the connection?


I told him that the landlady needed to know if I was renewing my lease by the start of next month.

imo, this is giving HIM all the power over your choice. Wasn't this pursuit?


He knows I am leaning strongly towards NOT staying here and he'd have monthly weekend visitation with the kids.


Hence the changes...??


When I move, it would be to stay with my parents and save up for a house while I decide where I would like to live longer-term. Much cheaper than staying here, which is part of why I plan to do it.



H would have a very hard time moving to where my parents live, he just started a new job 8 months ago and committed to staying 3+ years with them.

He can break his contract. It's not a crime. And would it really be "wrong" of him to leave a JOB, if he decided to join you?

I would have a very hard time moving back to where he is, because I'll be getting pretty intense pressure from my family not to. Everyone says block out others, but I am 31, 2 babies, very close to my family, and my H is sleeping with a stripper...it'll be hard.

IF being there makes YOU happy or makes your life easier...so be it.

I don't (usually) care what he does with her. I asked if they were still together after he made a comment about MC. If he's with her, then there's no proceeding.

Needless to say...literally...


... he does need to man up. He's doing a lot of new things lately, but I am taking it as trying to appease me/look like a good dad so I'll stick around until there is a lot of indication that it is something else.

But you sticking around MIGHT be the way to enable him to NOT change for real, in the way you need...

I have to sleep now. Will reread later - thanks for your thoughts. I think they are pretty accurate, but want to reread and ponder. I may be a little better than you think with indicating I am leaving/life will be brighter/better without him and a bit worse than you think re having some mystery/minimizing contact.

So I know I'm being clear, imo, the way to save this marriage is to be willing to leave it behind you. It may not work, but a year of what you've been doing, has lead to him being with OW and not coming around or being decent,

until you say you are leaving, and that's a bit too transparent for me to ignore.

IF the time comes when he really wants to reconcile, you will know b/c he'll have clarity (or it won't be worth doing on your end).

Sorry about all this...it SO [censored]...
(( hugs ))