Today has been a long, emotional, day full of traveling for me after a very busy weekend...
So forgive me if I stray a bit...
I actually only came on to check on a friend who posted to you earlier (sorry E, didn't even get to read your novel...)
I know I come across as a total hard a$$ sometimes...
I challenge, irritate, whatever you want to call it...
I have been through this process with anger and bitterness, and I have been through it with love...
The second option was actually much harder but much more rewarding and I don't second guess my decisions now (like I did the first time)...
I just want you to be sure with whatever choice you make...
and if that means drawing on my experience, sometimes playing devil's advocate...
I'm ok with that...
Here is a funny...
In H's first go round, I found another woman's underwear, in some laundry that he brought in from his car for me to wash...
I know exactly what it said to me...what it still says to me...I mean, I like to think I'm not stupid...
However, the possibilities of how they got there, are numerous....
He denied, I took them to OW, showed them to her, she denied (and I don't think they were the right size for her)...anyway...maybe there was a second or third ow that neither I nor first ow knew about, maybe an alien landed in his car and left them, IDK...
What I do know is that for me, it wasn't my line in the sand...
Some days I wish it had been...
We all have to determine that for ourselves and we have to be able and ready to live with the consequences of OUR choices...
I know, people say the consequences of THEIR bad decisions etc...but the truth behind that statement is a question of who defines what a bad decision is...
And since we can only control ourselves, it is our reactions and actions that are the only ones that really matter...
Just be sure that you are doing right for you...
Not out of anger, not out of some strange sense of being disrespected (which must be a male concept because I just do NOT get it), not out of hurt...
Removing yourself from the equation, is not what I question, if it is what you need to do for you to heal...
It is the WHY and the HOW that I have issue with...
I will never advocate being a doormat, however I don't believe digging deep within and doing what is right for YOU, whether it goes against what other people think is right or not, is being a doormat...
When you decide that you are doing what is right for you and you believe it whole heartedly, you won't have to explain or convince anyone (except maybe Jack, cuz he is more of a devil's advocate than I am)...
One other thing, I agree with 25, I didn't really see too many 2x4's today...
Just people who don't want to see you do something you will regret...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
