18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

[AJM80]

I'm not sure what the deal is with the other woman. I found out about the affair at the end of Sept last year, he moved out in Nov, he told her he was married around Christmas, so while he started sleeping with her last May, it seems like it turned into a relationship late last year.

I think he has been cake eating. However, I do see a change in the last few weeks, as I have signaled more and more that I am moving away in 3 months. He told me about situation with other woman when I pushed for a serious convo. I told him that the landlady needed to know if I was renewing my lease by the start of next month. He knows I am leaning strongly towards NOT staying here and he'd have monthly weekend visitation with the kids.

When I move, it would be to stay with my parents and save up for a house while I decide where I would like to live longer-term. Much cheaper than staying here, which is part of why I plan to do it. H would have a very hard time moving to where my parents live, he just started a new job 8 months ago and committed to staying 3+ years with them. I would have a very hard time moving back to where he is, because I'll be getting pretty intense pressure from my family not to. Everyone says block out others, but I am 31, 2 babies, very close to my family, and my H is sleeping with a stripper...it'll be hard.

I don't (usually) care what he does with her. I asked if they were still together after he made a comment about MC. If he's with her, then there's no proceeding. If he's not committed enough to actually end things with her...he's not going to be able to make anything stick with me. I would guess he'll use her until he's ready to not be alone. It's very selfish and he does need to man up. He's doing a lot of new things lately, but I am taking it as trying to appease me/look like a good dad so I'll stick around until there is a lot of indication that it is something else.

I have to sleep now. Will reread later - thanks for your thoughts. I think they are pretty accurate, but want to reread and ponder. I may be a little better than you think with indicating I am leaving/life will be brighter/better without him and a bit worse than you think re having some mystery/minimizing contact.