It's Over

[Denver_2010]

Denver:

I have thought long and hard about your sitch. What is it that you really want right now? I'll bet you cant really answer that with 100% certainty at the moment. Ill bet you fluctuate from one moment to the next.

Yep. I have no idea what I want right now. Not to be in emotional pain 24/7? That would be a start.

So I believe, for the time being, DONT make any final decisions right now. 2steps post was awesome. When I got back on this site, you and 2step seemed to dominate the board; in a good way.

Look at all the people that have responded to you Denver. There is no question that you are a very likeable person that will do well one way or another.

Thanks 9. I appreciate you saying that. And I have come to see that the same is true of you. 2Step! Oh yes. You have no idea how close he and I are. Great guy. Really.

If I can mirror your sitch a little. What do I want most , and I am calm right now. I want my Wife back and my family together , but its not that simple. I dont want that at the cost of my self respect and self worth. Before all this crap happened, I was positive I could never accept an affair and a continued relationship with my W and even entertain the thought of accepting her back.

Same here. I would never have said that I would EVER consider sticking around if W was having an A... Until it happened to me.

My self respect is what I fear being damaged the most right now.

ONly YOU can tell when you are being a doormat or when you are standing up for what you believe in.

And that is where I am now. What happened yesterday made me feel like a doormat. For the first time in my entire sitch. With all of the sh!t that my W has said and done over the past 6 months, I always felt that she had a reason... that I had contributed to it. This is the first time that I haven't felt that way... that I have felt taken advantage of. And that is why my reaction is completely different.

As I mentioned earlier, one thing you know for sure now is that your NEW wife is capable of lying to you about her affair. YOu would not accept that before.

And I still won't accept it 9. Honestly man, I got to tell you. I STILL believe that my W would not be capable of this WHEN she is fully committed to me, or anyone for that matter. I just know her too well. But, she is not fully committed.

And she is lost in her life right now. I KNOW that she is going through some serious issues about feeling that she has lived her life for others for so long, that her youth was robbed of her from having son at a young age, having a chance at a serious career in music for the same reason, and having had her dad abandon her at a young age. She is lost and confused. I honestly believe that her behavior over the past 6 months is not who she truly is... or how she wants to live her life.

Thanks again 9. It is nice to have so much support.