It's Over

[ninelives]

Denver:

I have thought long and hard about your sitch. What is it that you really want right now? I'll bet you cant really answer that with 100% certainty at the moment. Ill bet you fluctuate from one moment to the next.

So I believe, for the time being, DONT make any final decisions right now. 2steps post was awesome. When I got back on this site, you and 2step seemed to dominate the board; in a good way.

Look at all the people that have responded to you Denver. There is no question that you are a very likeable person that will do well one way or another.

If I can mirror your sitch a little. What do I want most , and I am calm right now. I want my Wife back and my family together , but its not that simple. I dont want that at the cost of my self respect and self worth. Before all this crap happened, I was positive I could never accept an affair and a continued relationship with my W and even entertain the thought of accepting her back.

The bottom line is that we get one life to live. Many people have advised me to move on and I will, When I CANT take it anymore. When she crosses that line where I can NEVER forgive her. Because, we have the rest of our lives to heal from this and to have a great, not good , but great life with our Children and all that goes with it. Thats why IM still entertaining the thought of starting a new R with my W.

Dont let ANYONE tell you different. ONly YOU can tell when you are being a doormat or when you are standing up for what you believe in. As I mentioned earlier, one thing you know for sure now is that your NEW wife is capable of lying to you about her affair. YOu would not accept that before.

YOu have some real tough decisions to make in the future. NOt the near future because they would be based on emotion and hurt.
Take some real time and decide which way you want to go and ONLY YOU can make that final choice. There is a great deal of good advice here. Sift through it and make the right choice for you.

And even then, it may not be the final choice because life is always changing.

All the best my friend. Im thinking about you alot.

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