It's not that I'm afraid of ruining this superficial happiness. It's just that I learned like most WAW's R talk at the wrong time is completely self defeating. It's not that waiting for this uti to be over will magically solve everything. It's that I am worried of where we stand as of now. I know bringing it up during the uti will just get me blamed for being inconsiderate. She'll call me manipulative and controlling and every other thing WAW's do when they feel cornered with R talk.

Where do we stand? Not sure, last we spoke we were going to try things slowly, and together. We were going to work on our sex life, and we weren't going to go off with other OP's without asking each other for permission first. (her idea).

Then the damn uti hit, and I worry that she will clam up once again. Say that ml to me is not worth the uti that may come with it. She'll start feeling frustrated again for not getting her needs met again and go full blown WAW again. It sounds ridiculous, but a series of UTI's she got in the past were what contributed to us losing our sex life.

My only consolation is how affectionate she has been.

I know her mind must be spinning right now, it frustrates me because we had made so much progress healing I hate to see it all fall apart over something almost so random as an infection.

I also hate that everything has to be on her timeline. I've read many sitch's where WAW just keep asking for more and more time.

As for W's orientation, I am convinced that it will always remain fluid. The question is if we can channel that into a way that would not include OP's. The trips to the strip club, and porn were a good start.

I also keep trying to tell myself to shelf my anger and my concerns to rebuild the good times and to once again re-write the history she had already rewritten.

I guess the plan is to get her to the point where she realizes how dumb it would be to go through with it afterall.

I know young at heart asked me not to play the jealousy angle too much, and I agree. I also want her to realize that by going through with all this she is opening pandora's box and may very well lose me someday.

My hope is to do enough to have her say: is this fling I'm about to go into worth losing my husband?

I don't remember the poster but someone here said that they tried the open marriage thing, and his W snapped out of it when she found a love letter to him. Hopefully things will resolve soon. She insisted she was turned on to see me flirt with other women. So yes I intend to put this to the test, in the hopes that she will say: "jeez that girl seemed interested, I wonder if I could lose him to her....maybe we need to stop this open marriage thing."

Does that sound like a plan? Most likely not but it's the crazy game I'm working on.