I'm going to commend you on your boundary. Your NUT. You now have the high ground and the TRUE gift of time. Her words? It's all true, but she wouldn't have opened up and said them like this any other time until YOU busted it wide open. Yeah, you have to be careful about laws and your actions, but I can say without a doubt I would have done the EXACT same thing if I were in your shoes. I'm not condoning your bad behavior, but it happened and it's over with. I understand. Now what?
Sometimes, the most devastating catastrophes are what actually sparks true change.
Yeah, from "outside the forest" you screwed up, but F it. Brutal reality is we're human and hurt LBS's; and WE will F up. I think this needed to happen and it did happen for a reason.
My advice:
You laid out the boundary; now quit interacting with her. Take this gift of time to just disappear for awhile and let her wonder what you are going to do. Don't initiate anything yet. I agree with setting your countdown back to 90 and disappear for awhile. Any communication with her right now will be pointless and NOT good.
Something else to think about...put yourself in her shoes. You walked into her secret place and literally caught her eating cake while her other hand was up to her elbow in the cookie jar. Wouldn't you be pissed off too at being caught in such a humiliating moment? See a junkie shooting up and you take away their needle and RUIN their high? They are NOT going to be happy.
Give her and, most importantly, YOURSELF space and time. Let the dust settle. 90 days Denver.
