MK, the airport thing is ok. We have the 3 kids and it's not easy to head out to the airport to pick up dad.
SF, that's a very good way you put that. It's similar to some things I wrote in the past, but better explained. It is the great irony of it all. Those who don't need the affection, get it. But it runs away from those who are looking for it. I once tried to explain this to my W regarding ML. Having to always ask or seek it weakened me and made me less attractive in her eyes, whereas settling on some common ground made a man strong, happy, secure, and attractive. I pointed out that while I can pretend not to care for a while, I do care. And in the end the choice as to what kind of man she was married to was really hers. My W sort of got it - made a little effort in this area for a while.
So I know you are right. But I'm not sure how to accomplish the first step (not needing these things). Choices seem to be: (1) somehow eliminate the need for affection or (2) (and I'm just saying logically, not that I'd do this) get ML somewhere else.
I speak of ML here, but I think it applies to all forms of affection. The spouse with the lower interest has the power; the other, regardless of their other qualities, seems needy and weak.
I recall MWD's tips for spouses with unequal desires, there were tips for both - but I'm guessing the spouse with the lower desire generally sees no problem with the way things are.
