I'm fine with your present protection about the past "non abuse" incident. I am NOT fine with you going forward with her, and not getting some protection.
She will allege this again. She's not well.
She needs help and you cannot give it to her. Maybe she can get counselling under the guise of career advice, but someone has to get through to her (not you).She has big time baggage. I hope her abuse was not the result of "recovered memories" b/c those have been discredited in my circles. (I used to specialize in this area of the law, much to my dismay).
Back to the m... Is it true that You've owned up to what you were/did. If that's true, then today's problems are on her, not you.
Okay then, don't let her keep YOU in the past. No more apologies for the past.
You can CALMLY say "W, I'm done apologizing for the past and the behaviors I have changed. I won't be forced to live in the past (so you can feel like a victim forever). I'm focussed on today and from this day forward...hope you'll join me in the present"...that may sound too harsh or real, so adjust it as you see fit.
But the point remains the same, she's wallowing in false martyrdom and blame.
You are enabling her to abuse you and I seriously worry about her skewed view of things.
What do you want from this M now?
Do you have any boundaries?
Assume she will never want to ML again, with you. Assume things continue indefinitely, and she wants to be "just roomies", oh EXCEPT she gets to harp on you about parenting, and she does not have to pay half the rent, or work or go to school AND she gets to whine about it...
sometimes implicitly blaming you now and then...
and one who has a good chance of falsely accusing you of a crime against your kids, which will at least get you to LOSE them, or requires "supervised visits" and she'd get them full time....at your expense...
BUT a lot of false allegations get recanted when the w's realize that the dinner plate gets broken with those claims b/c the soldier goes to JAIL and the money STOPS...ooops TOO LATE...
but your wife actually believes this stuff. She is NOT WELL...
--NG, I had maybe 6-7 really innocent clients out of 300....they were ALL accused of child sex abuse.
Granted, 75 of the other guys were guilty as sin. But of the innocent men I represented, that was the crime alleged.
I lost 2 cases of truly innocent men, who got 20 year sentences...I cried when the sentence was given out and to this day, I don't know what I could have done differently from a strategic lawyer viewpoint...still haunts me.
I'm so sorry to ask this, but how's that feel as a future for you?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
