I may not be the best person to tell you how to handle this, since I have been here for years. But, at the same time, maybe I am, since I have finally found a way to break that hold that kept me here for so many years.
I will gladly be your darkness "buddy". We will support each other and have to answer to each other if we break the dark. It does help to have someone who you know is not going to accept excuses and will make you stick to a plan.
