I wonder though: what must it feel like to be missed? what's it like to have a spouse enjoy ML enough to think about it, flirt, or otherwise make it clear that is what is on their mind.
SL,
You need to come to grips with this: your wife isn't going to "miss" you, or feel attraction toward you, as long as she is emotionally (or more) attracted to her boss.
Your neediness isn't attractive, and I guarantee you that she feels it from you as it's oozing from your posts here.
Either confront her about what she's doing with this man, or move on happily with who YOU are and learn to value YOURSELF more, because this pining for her and walking on eggshells about what is an inappropriate relationship AT BEST isn't working for you, and I worry about your happiness and emotional health.
