knowing and doing, 9. You have been practicing detaching and you are still stuck with hopes and expectations.
It's not the best answer, maybe not even a good answer, but you could try expecting the worst, only. And put hope on the shelf.
For me, I'm expecting the worst every time there is comm between my W and I. And with that, I've trained myself to become less reactive, whether the comm is negative as I expect, or positive like I do not expect.
I've also believing that I DO NOT want her back. That's not completely a lie, because there really are things that make me fear ever getting back together, in case those things remain. But remaining positive that I can "do better"... find someone who will be all the good qualities that I found in my W, without those negatives. And of course, I'm not fooling myself that anyone new would not have negatives. I just can't anticipate or predict those new negatives, so it seems... rosey...
I don't know, just some thoughts. But it does seem that you are wallowing in the pain. Stuck there. Maybe you need a break and need to feel the pain for a while. As soon as you can find the energy, get out there and wholly focus on the GAL again.
