Braveheart, just for the record he is not in another relationship. And it was I who moved far away.
I am not sure what I want to achieve - that is what I am thinking about, out loud. It is one of the things these Boards are so good for. He divorced me to wipe the slate clean in order to possibly start over with me, but I did not see it that way.
I have a good life, but spent well over half my life with this man. To some extent I am what I am today because of who he was and our close and loving relationship. And he is the father of my children. A very good one too until he entered his crisis state. It is a lot of past to jettison completely and close the door on. I think by shutting the door now, I would be finally closing it, although one can never be sure.
We have both been very very ill, since we separated, and neither of us has a huge life expectancy. One reason for where we both now live is that we are close to centres of excellence for our respective illnesses. People who never had a real illness while we were together!
I put it to one side for a long time. I think I want to reclaim a part of my past back in a possible friendship - which is not at all the same as wanting to return to the past, which can never happen.
Life is sweet, nuanced and complicated for most of us. Few of us have your clear cut certainties!
