Detach Dog

[ninelives]

Thanks guys. Means so much to me.

Hate to post this next thing but this is where we come to be honest right.

Its been over 5 days since I contacted W. She sent me the Happy Birthday greeting at 12:01 on my Bday and I am wondering what that was all about.

I overheard my youngest son talking to my ex about his dirtbike and when will it be ready. I guess OM took it to get fixed and I asked youngest if they are planning to go somewhere on the island and go for a ride. He doesnt ride but has a truck to transport bike.

Youngest said, that he and his mom would go and OM would probably get the bike there. Beyond that , its all speculation.

My point: I guess i have to prepare for OM to be doing fun things with my son. I know people will tell me that its better that he is good to your son than being mean and that He will never replace me as a father. I KNOW that , it still hurts nonetheless.

And I cant for the life of me stop thinking about he. I was hoping that my birthday was going to be a Turnaround for me to a REBIRTH, but it has done the opposite. Or I have let it.

NOBODY wants to be stuck in pain. That is insanity however, try as I might, I cant seem to shake my sadness right now. And the pain is really intense.

25, I dont want this. I have been taking your advice by faking it till I make it infront of everybody, but in quiet moments, it hurts like hell. Really bad.

MY W seems to have moved on and appears to be living her life. Her mom's house goes up for sale and she will get some money from that. I dont think she has many regrets.

I hope this is just a passing thing for me and I get back to GAL and getting happy. Like I said before, to do otherwise is insane.

IM not sure what Im asking for here. My chief focus is to NOT let her see how much I am hurting and not to have any negative convorsations with her.

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