Won't stand for a broken family

[LearningPatience]

I just keep hearing from people that he comes around for his own benefit when he wants. There is one VERY big 180 I have no dared to do yet; come back at him or fight back in the moment. I typically become quiet and pull back my emotions in thinking its not best to say things that I may regret later. I am thinking that next time he says/does something that bothers me to just say it loud and clear and without any fear. Now if I could only bring myself to do it...

TTT,
that has always been one of my issues, not wanting to rock the boat and keeping things inside. The problem is that those feelings well up inside until one minor issue releases all the pent up anger and resentment at once. This solves nothing and generally makes the sitch worse.

Now, I'm not saying to speak the first thing that comes to mind either. The trick (one I wish I knew better) is to calmly say something like "I don't agree" or whatever the sitch warrants.

When my W would say something in anger or frustration to me (justified or not), if I remembered to stand up for myself and say something, she would calm down quickly. It's amazing how pleasant she would get afterward. It's almost like she *wanted* me to stand up to her. I think she respected me much more in those occasions.