It's Over

[25yearsmlc]

and stop trying to control how she sees you or your motivations.

Only time will change that IF IT IS POSSIBLE...remember in her mind, she is "righter" if your changes are either not real

or for the wrong reasons.

You can only prove they are real with time...and at some point saying you are only changing for "selfish" reasons will sound as goofy as it is.

But you arguing about it makes it worse.

Truly. I'd laugh at that b/c she's structuring it for failure. You cannot win with the way she sets it up.

So don't argue the point. It plays into her BS and at some level I think she's just frustrated that you are in fact a different man and she'll have to let go of the anger if that's true...

and she NEEDS that anger. She seems addicted to it.

Let her see how it consumes HER and NOT YOU...

by not engaging...

And please do NOT apologize again.

You've been over it. You owned it, you apologized for it, repeatedly, and you changed it.

Yet she still complains. Fact is she likes being angry. Makes her feel right.
She wants to be STUCK...inertia, victimhood, whatever...

She won't see that, maybe ever. But if she can, IF SHE CAN SEE IT, it'll be by you backing away.

I happen to think she loves you. But that does NOT mean you should be married.

You need to back off so she can see you in a way that feels safe and that means distance. Back off. GAL for real. DETACH DETACH and DETACH...

you know this. So do it.