OnMyWay: to who knows where?

[OnMyWay]

Yeah, but it was all for naught. I got up to run errands and, while I was out, the SMIL called me. She worked me over for a while about our failed marriage and Jesus. She said she was going to call WAW and tell her what a HUGE mistake she was making. I told her that their R wouldn't support that (they have issues) and that it wouldn't really help and she shouldn't do it, but once she has something in her mind, there's no stopping that woman. When I got home, they were on the phone. It wasn't good.

WAW is done and I agree. I hate what we are about to do to our D. I'll never forgive her for it. However, I've got to get off this roller coaster. I can't fight the good fight any longer. I just don't care anymore. She had her counseling today and mentioned they are about to begin setting goals for her. I have one more to add her list: The big D.

She's just not into our R and the only thing I have left it to openly give her what she wants. If she figures it out after the fact, that is her problem.

Of course, this is a bigger issue even, as now we have to sort through an uncontested D in the state of Nevada. It should be easy and straight forward, but she has fought me on EVERYTHING else, there's no reason to thing she won't fight me on this, too. Ball will be in her court as I just want my life back.

I just don't have it in me any more. I love her, no question. I've given it my all for sure. But, I'm 45 and I don't want to set around waiting the rest of my life hoping she'll realize her mistake. I have a life and a future and I want it all - without apology. If she's not interested in meeting me on this and saving the gorgeous beauty we once shared, then it's her loss. I'll just continue to be the best Dad I can be and the rest will be about living my life to the fullest.

I make no apologies. I've done what I can do. Time to put wishful thinking aside. All I have left is to leave it up to her, and I know what that answer will be. As horrible as it sounds, I'll have my freedom and my piece of mind...and that is something I'll cherish forever.