H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Not easy. There's a book called "After the Affair" I've heard is very helpful.
I do know that you need absolute clarity from the WAS. No "let's try and see" garbage. They MUST commit to the m and doing what it takes.
So once you know they really want to do this, on their end, I think you come up with ways of establishing trust but verify, that they agree to and don't whine about.
I'm no expert in that but there are resources and couples DO recover from this.
If both parties want it, they can do it.
I think the problem is that either the WAS thinks the LBSer won't really forgive and will hold it over their head...
OR the LBSer is holding onto things and DOES get too obsessive and paranoid and also,
and this applies to ME, we have a sense of entitlement at the beginning of reconciling. Like the LBSer is saying "I've been thru a lot and you owe me" and it gets old fast.
Hope this helps
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
