First time caller...

[Telemark]

Tirade? Did I miss a tirade? I didn't see a tirade...

Anyway, you both make very good points but as you both can also imagine the sitch with SS21 is very complex. His father and stepmother have him the other 50% of the time (we all live within a few mile of each other) and they bring a whole different set of conditions to the table.

25, you asked what the long range plan is. There is no such thing as a "long range plan" when you are dealing with behavioral and social handicaps at this severe level. It is one day at a time. Period. The demand far exceeds the supply for available spaces in professionally supervised group homes; the waiting list is years long. So we muddle on, doing the best we can with whatever resources we can get our eyes, ears, hands and minds on.

But I digress, and I'd like to put this part of the sitch to bed. As KD said, my W's indifference may evaporate at any moment, so I continue to be as supportive and optimistic as I can. God knows she has dealt with more than any one person should deal with, and I am starting to look at her and her issues with a "kinder, gentler" set of eyes.

Regardless of how our R or M turns out, I will always have great respect and admiration for what she has endured with this part of her life.