What helped me is that I got a little book (3 X 5 lined spiral) and in it I keep MY rules for life. Since they re my rules I can change them or amend them whenever. What they are are guiding principles that help my life work. Try it.
You know in your heart of hearts what it is you need to change,so start small with a behavioral goal and a formula to correct a behavior should you eff up.
Of you tend to drink too much, make a rule that you only have 2 glasses of whatever, if you ave a sharp tongue, make a deal that you will leave and go for a walk and think it over or sleep on anything big.
I have successes and failures all the time. Thanks God H is now on board too and is working on his behavior's as well. We still get into the reactive loop or quagmire you describe, but it's less and less and now we know it when it happens and we agree to table it until we can be calm and dissect it.
M 55 H 58 M 24 T 29 S 22,21, 19 Bomb 4/10 It (A) really isn't about you 11/2013 We all have work to do
The truth will set you free, but it will almost kill you first.
