Forgive or else...what?

[25yearsmlc]

you mean how to forgive?

That's a biggie, as I didn't grow up seeing forgiveness.

My parents fought loudly and then retreated...I had to learn about what it looked like.

I began by reading up on it, there are books on it and some articles here.

I finally realized what my anger and pain were causing ME and my children (not my h).

So Remember, your anger/pain consumes YOU, not them...

Holding onto anger to punish someone else-or to teach them a lesson--is like lighting yourself on fire, to get smoke in their eyes.

Fact is, my pain and anger were consuming my heart, and making me bitter.

I was preoccupied with my pain at the expense of my daughters, who needed me more then, than ever.

I had to get rid of the anger or somehow contain it better.
Everyone I met, I would tell about my h. Every time my sisters called, I'd repeat my latest anger incident...

Finally my older sister told me I was really spiralling into a negative vortex...it had to stop. That began with ME.

So for me, forgiving started with letting go of my pain/anger. It was a process.

It was not about my h, and I did not tell him.

It wasn't about him. Do you get that?


When you start to realize what this means, you'll probably begin the process of truly letting go and forgiving.