WAW in Los Angeles

[wawinla]

KD...thanks for response.

Re: "Nice guys". I'm working on the balance of "giving in" and "being nice".

Re: "Eat, Pray, Love"...concur 100%. There is certainly a "grass is greener" element in it and those in a MLC.

"Just how you interact with her regarding the legal aspects will be something she will see. No matter how cold and distant she may appear." What do you mean by this? Is this the balancing act of "giving in" vs. "being nice"? Financially/practically, my WAW is in a much better position than me. I'm looking for a new opportunity and she is set in her job/career for as long as she wants it. In her original filing, financially it was totally one sided toward her. When I stated an objection, she went ballistic. Thoughts?

wil...

First comment: "Nice guys" do NOT have to finish last. Here's the thing... Nice guys aren't guys who give in... they are guys who are... well... nice... Do you know the difference?

As far as the "Eat, Pray, Love" thing... don't get me started... stupid ending... I get the movie and agree with the "finding of oneself", but not at the expense of an M. And, while I like the guy she ends up with, the movie is far too hollywood. Happily ever after? I doubt it. They didn't carry the ending on long enough for people to understand that even THAT relationship would be rocky and would need to be constantly worked on to keep functional.

Now to the tough question... How to show your W the positive changes you have made in your life...

I think a few things that were suggested on your topic are good. The thing is you can't "tell her"... you have to "show her". And how can you show her when there is no contact?

I can't promise you that she's actively watching you, but as many on the board will tell you, even if you think she isn't, she IS paying attention and seeing the changes. If she doesn't see them directly, she is hearing about them from mutual friends or otherwise. Just how you interact with her regarding the legal aspects will be something she will see. No matter how cold and distant she may appear.

How do we know this? Because, no matter where you are in the detach, you notice changes in her... or you notice lack of changes or even negative changes...

And while she has filed in feb and you responded mid april, it ain't final and it ain't over... until it's over... and until you say so, even if the D gets finalized.