Nice to see you around. It has been awhile. If remember correctly you were always very good at GAL and had some pretty good perspective on things even early on.
I see where you are having somewhat of a struggle with your H.
I see some things in your sitch that concern me.
1. H has had multiple EA/PA throughout the last couple of years
2. He is a good talker and you have always been there for him to return.
3. He is def secure in his R/M with you.
You appear to be an anchor for your H is a way. I wonder what would happen if the anchor was retrieved and ship about to sail for open waters.
How do you suppose his reaction would be?
There is one thing men hate to lose!
Security.
I am not saying this for you to use as some trick or ploy I am saying this because I believe there is balance between being friendly with your H and being an enabler.
It is clear that he has made a decision, might not be what you wanted or what you would have chosen but it is not your decision to make.
Can you live your life for you?
Without him in it?
Where your decisions have NOTHING to do with him?
Can you live and have zero expectation of what he will do/say/think?
I always admired the way you described yourself and your ability to be so clear in the middle of all this. Also your GAL was very good. Hope that is still the case
He has legitimate complaints, I am sure. Look every single one of our spouses/X spouses had legitimate complaints. I am not saying I agree with how they handled it but they were important enough to them so they should have been important enough for us. Most of us don't get till it's too late.
What are his complaints?
What have you done to address them?
Not for him but for yourself.
You love him correct?
Well part of loving someone is accepting that there are things that they like/feel/think and we should do our best to address them.
You are right.
13 yrs is a long time to let go of someone and as long as you love your H and want to save it I say go for it but there is a lot more to it than GAL and staying busy.
