Rollercoaster of love

[LearningPatience]

KD, there are a couple of life lessons learned that may be applicable, at least for myself going forward.

First one: after first D, I was looking for R anywhere and everywhere. Had very few dates and got frustrated by the lack of companionship. I eventually gave up and just enjoyed myself for who I was. I had a fulfilling and enjoyable life. Of course, that's when current W came into the picture, just when I least expected it ...

Second lesson/remembrance: a little while after W and I started dating, we were out with friends and she asked one of them if they noticed anything different about me. He said that I didn't seem to be enjoying myself as much and wasn't as much fun. At the time, I shrugged it off, but looking back, that should have been a huge red flag for me. W blamed herself, but in reality it was the two of us and how we interacted. We loved each other, but when she got critical I retreated into a shell which just seemed to make her more critical.

That, in a nutshell, is what would need to change if we were ever to get back together again. I know which half of that equation I can control.