Harrier

[Harrier]

Okay, I need to address something straight up.
When I use words like "beatdown," "slap" etc. It isn't mean as a challenge to what you are telling me. It doesn't mean that I disregard that advice or can't take it. It's meant mostly as a joke.

Remember when I asked you what "trying" meant to you? You didn't say.

Trying - to make an effort. To realize what is at stake and make an effort to change my behavior.

Just so you know, just because I don't write them out, doesn't mean I don't answer the questions.

As for the R talk on Friday. It simply couldn't be avoided and I will leave it at that.

I think it's the pestering and constant R talk, isn't that why she has to get space from you?

If by pestering you mean the snooping, I said as much. The r talk may also be, but she has never said it.

I have a different take on the whole happiness thing. I mean if your H died, you'd be as happy as you are now? Even that woman you told me about, she is 100% happy all the time? What I meant is that external stimuli are in our lives (you can't deny that). We have to figure out how we react to that stimuli and it CAN'T always be happy. I wouldn't want it to be that way frankly. We'd never have great songs written, great poetry, etc. This doesn't make me a miserable person. I mean if I never experienced the sadness, then happiness would be meaningless.

I also think there is a neurological chemical component...in fact there has to be. I can't "change" my brain chemistry just by my reactions to things. I mean if that's the case, then no one would need Anti-Ds, they could just work really hard to change their perceptions.

I'm not using that as a crutch to not try, but to in fact see how I can succeed.

Changes - I have made other changes that have certainly stuck. I mentioned them in other posts. But two changes - the snooping and the reacting to her - still need a lot of work.


As for the forgiveness thing - i said I don't know if it applies here because I didn't know if that's what you meant by it or you had something else in mind. It felt like what you meant.

BTW do you naturally gravitate to other lawyers?

On a side note, I did get 2 root canals on Saturday and applied for a new job at a hospital on Sunday.