Well, it has been 10 years for me now. I was also "hit out of the blue"and we had been married 25 years, together 30. It took me a LONG time to recover to the point I am at today.
The suggestions you have received so far are very good. I found that hobbies helped a lot although I could not do some of the things I had done for years (like cross stitch) in the beginning. I couldn't even watch tv (we always did that together). I just felt so unsettled.
Venting to friends on the computer and phone really helped me. Forcing myself to get out since I just wanted to curl up on the couch and do nothing but ache.
I forced myself to date again. Like you, I wondered who would ever want me. The person I gave my life and 3 kids to had abandoned me. Tossed me aside like trash. Well - I was wrong. But it was not easy.
Finding someone new who really compliments me (not to be confused with "completes"me) was really good for me. I will say that I would have recovered without him but I do enjoy our time together.
The thing is - ou are the only one who can make your life what it is. You have to be willing to try different things. And realize that there is a time for everything. Therapy might not have helped in the beginning but it might be right now. I went in the beginning although I was a puddle of anguish a lot of the time. But I did learn some coping and rebuilding tools. I went back after a couple of years to "see how I was doing" then even joined a group of "Survivors"led by my counselor on a "Face your Fears"trip into the Amazon jungle. I healed faster after 9 days there where we talked about our journeys quite a bit.
Everyone is different. We heal faster in some ways than others. But wanting to get past it is good. I just tried to fix one thing in my life that was missing at a time. I reminded myself I only had to live one day at a time. That helped too!
I understand about the bed. I had trouble sleeping for a long, long time and usually slept on the couch. I tried moving to the middle of the bed but still felt something missing. I did move a body pillow into his place and it helped some. Maybe you should buy a new bed or change rooms. Moving to a different house really helped me. It was MY house - one he had never set foot in. I liked that!
Slowly I am starting new hobbies, meeting new people and trying new things. This is what life is about anyway. I recently left my city of 55 years and moved to a small village 200 miles away. And I really don't have friends here - a bit intimidating but I'm pushing myself each day. Tommorrow I'm joining Zumba. Thursday is card making class, a stitching class AND a trip to the local farmer's market. It's a start.
Life is a gift. Make a small change today and you will reap rewards tommorrow.
