Had a really good weekend with a few personal insights too!
Went to techno festival in Detroit on Saturday with two friends. Same two friends that I went to Asia with (that weren't W and OM:). Lots of people watching, every shade of hair, tattoo, and clothing (or lack thereof) around. Flirted with a couple of ladies, felt great. One friend, later that night, was telling me to L up and take W for half of everything. He wants me to use this shark L he knows. No thanks!
Drove home Sunday to pick up boys. Went to picnic with friends, two of whom are getting married this fall. H to be is getting same ring as I had and is having the reception at the same place as us (almost 5 years to the day later). All of us were able to make a few jokes about my sitch. After a couple of hours, boys and I headed back to Detroit area. Went bowling and dinner at a wings place. Next morning (Monday) went to the zoo, came home and we watched a couple more episodes of Lost (I've got them hooked).
While driving around the city, lots of places reminded me of W for various things. I let the feelings pass through me and tried my best to live in the moment and enjoy my company. Mostly worked.
I also came to a few conclusions. First, I had never really realized how controlling W tried to be (I realized my own control issues a few months ago). Things like the car I bought and drove, the clothes I wear, my hairstyle, etc. I also realized that the fears I had, the fear of starting over, the fear of living in a crappy apartment, less money, etc., well, they came true. Yet, I'm still here! I had the fear of never finding companionship again, yet I realize now that I have a lot I bring to the table. I have lots of good qualities (which my poor self-esteem used to keep me from recognizing) and really would make a pretty decent catch for someone
Now, the trick is to remember these things and build on them.
Day 8 of Darkness continues...
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
